


We Still Have The Here And Now

by Crazy_panda_25



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sirius Needs a Hug, gets happy at the end though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:38:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_panda_25/pseuds/Crazy_panda_25
Summary: A few days after Sirius runs away from home and goes to James house, his and James head back to 12 Grimmauld Place to get his belongings.





	

It is a few days after Sirius has run away from home and he's adamant that he has to go back for his belongings.

"I need my stuff for school don't I?" Sirius says, tying his shoe laces.

"My parents will get you everything you left," James answers, worriedly watching Sirius.

"I can't ask that of them, they are doing too much already," Sirius says, not meeting James' eyes.

"They've said it themselves, you're like a son to them, when are you gonna get that through your head," James says, desperately.

"But I'm not though, am I? I'm not their son, I'm a Black, I'm their son no matter how much I wish I wasn't," Sirius says, standing up, "all I'm gonna do is get my things and leave, that's all."

"Let me come with you then," James blurts out.

"What?" Sirius says, surprised.

"We can go together so you don't have to be there on your own. I know you haven't told me and my parents everything that they did the other day and I don't want to risk them doing it again," James says, determined.

"I'm fine, aren't I? I've survived, until now, with them I'm pretty sure I can do it for a few minutes more," Sirius argues, stubbornly.

"They could have killed you, they could have killed you the other day," James almost shouts, his anger rising.

"I know that but I refuse to put you in danger just so you can keep me safe," Sirius says, clenching his jaw.

"I'm not scared of them," James says, not knowing himself whether he's lying or not.

"Neither am I but they're dark wizards and pure-blood manics. All you are to them is a kid in a blood traitor family, they'll kill you," Sirius says, shaking his head.

"I'm not letting you leave without me," James says, stubbornly.

"Alright, alright, fine but be careful," Sirius says.

 

The two boys travel to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius hesitates before opening the door with James right behind him.

"I knew you'd come crawling back sooner or later," the screeching voice of his mother shouts, glaring at him.

"I'm not crawling anywhere," Sirius answers, moving to go up the stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" She screams grabbing his arm roughly, it took all of James' self control not to push her off his friend, "and why have you got the nerve to bring a filthy blood-traitor here."

"I'm going to get my things and you'll never have to see me again," Sirius says, yanking his arm from his mothers grasp.

"Krecher has already done it, you're trunk is in the library with everything you own in it," Walburga Black snaps.

"How kind of him, couldn't wait to get rid of me I presume. None of you could," Sirius says, glaring his mother.

"Do you blame us? Your a disgrace to our family name, associating with dirty, filthy mudblood and half-breeds," she shouts, hatred so clear in his voice that James feels sick that any mother could speak like that to their own son.

"I know something, there blood is far more cleaner then ours will ever be," Sirius hisses.

His mother slaps him hard just like he knew she would. James feels his blood boil as he sees how normal this treatment seems for his best mate.

"You little-" James starts, stepping towards the women that has just hurt his friend right in front of him.

"James, don't," Sirius says, putting his arm out to stop his friend lunging at his mother.

"Oh so you're James, you're one of the nasty filthy group my son mixes with," Walburga hisses, glaring at James now, "you with your scum of a blood-traitor family. You disgust me."

"What are your family then? If my family are scum, what are you? You 'punish' your son for being a decent human being, something you will never, ever be. You make your son's life a living hell everyday he's here just because he's a better person then you'll ever be and YOU say my family is scum?" James shouts, angrily, "Just because they don't think they're superior to everyone, just because they believe muggle borns and half bloods are equally to us. They care about Sirius a million times more then you ever have. So go burn in hell."

"You disrespectful little brat," Walburga screams, pulling out her wand from her pocket and pointing it at James but Sirius steps in front of it.

"Go on, do your worst but you can't hurt James until you go through me first," Sirius spits, glaring at his mother.

"Walburga," Sirius hears his father says, from behind her, "they're not worth it. Take your things, get out of our sight and never come back."

"i'd be glad to," Sirius snaps, walking quickly into the room, grabbing his things and joining James in the hall again.

  
The trip home is silent, neither of them knowing what to say to make the situation better.

"How did you like my parents then?" Sirius asks, breaking the silence as soon as they get into James' room.

"They're worse then I imagined," James says, sitting on his bed and running his hand through his messy hair.

"If they were worse then you expected then you don't want to see them when their in proper rage mode," Sirius says, taking to messing with the zip on his jacket.

"How the hell have you lived with them all these years?" James asks, a question that he's been wanting to ask since Sirius appeared on his doorstep bruised, bleeding and freezing.

"Sometimes I asked myself the same question but all that weakness, all that innocence is knocked out of you at an early age in my family. As soon as you learnt to speak properly, you are taught manners and politeness. As soon as you learn to walk, you are expected to walk with your back straight and head up all the time. If you don't, you're punished until the command is driven so deep into your mind that you can't do anything else," Sirius explains, looking down at his hands, "A Black can never show weakness or vulnerability, if you're sad or depressed just grin and bare it alone, if you're hurt don't show it. Keep your defences high and people at a safe distance and you'll never get hurt."

James listens intensively, it is rare that Sirius ever talks about his what's going on in his head. That's something James has always known, he knows always the only way to figure out his best mate's feelings are by guessing. To James utter dismay, he sees Sirius wipe a tear with his sleeve violently. He's only ever seen his friend cry once, which is when he'd been so guilty about the Snape incident that he'd almost killed himself and probably would have if Remus and him hadn't talked him down.

"Never cry. When ever I cried when I was a kid my mother and father would never comfort me, they'd just shout at me to grown up and stop being so weak. I-I remember when I was three and I tripped down the stairs," Sirius says, his voice hoarse, "I couldn't help it, it hurt so much, I cried. I remember my father just shouting at me to man up and stop being such a baby, I was so scared of him then so it only made me cry even more. I only stopped when he pulled me off the floor and....slapped me. He told me my punishment for disobedience was that he wouldn't heal my broken wrist."

James has to take a deep breath to prevent him from letting his own tears escape. James feels sick with guilt, because he knows if he ever did that, even now, his mum would patch him up straight away and tell him to be more careful next time, not punish him. It is just then when it dawns on him how easy it has been for him all his life. He comes from a family that loves him, he's Quidditch team captain at school, he's good looking and popular. James realises how much his friends will need him. Sirius, with no proper family to look out for him when they finally leave school. Remus, with his furry little problem that makes his future uncertain. James knows one thing, he will be there for them. With the war hanging dangerously over their heads, James makes a silent vow to himself that he will protect them till his last breath.

"Sorry....I'm going on, aren't I," Sirius apologises, wiping his eyes.

"Don't apologise, Padfoot," James asks, softly, "you've done nothing wrong, I'd rather you tell me all this then you keep it inside of yourself."

"I think I'll need some practice at that," Sirius says, giving his friend a small smile.

"I've finally found something you can't learn in five minutes," James jokes, smiling when Sirius snorts a laugh.

"Even the great Sirius Black needs to learn things once in a while," Sirius says, smiling.

"It'll be okay, you know? Me, my parents, Remus and Peter will always be here to talk to," James says, smiling reassuringly at Sirius.

"I know," Sirius says, smiling weakly back, "and thanks."

"Actually, talking about Moony, he's coming over tomorrow morning," James says, hoping the mention of his boyfriend will brighten Sirius up.

"I told you not to owl him," Sirius says, shaking his head but he's smiling.

"He wanted to know," James answers, shrugging, "Wormy sends his love but he's on holiday with his folks."

"Shame, I hoped the four marauders could be together this summer," Sirius says.

"It'll just have to be me and the two love birds then," James teases, laughing when Sirius throws a pillow at him.

"Says the love sick stag," Sirius says, jokingly

"Lily will say yes one day," James says, smirking, "no one can resist my charm for that long."

"She's only resisted for...what....five years," Sirius laughs.

"It's only a matter of time before she falls head over heals in love with me," James says.

"You're too stubborn, you know that?" Sirius says, smirking.

"That's something we have in common then, isn't it," James says, throwing the discarded pillow back at Sirius, "anyway, what time is it?"

"Half six, why?" Sirius answers, glancing at his watch.

"I'm hungry, we missed lunch and we're missing dinner," James says, "see, this is what happens when my parents leave us alone for a day."

"Oh how will we survive the rest of today and all of tomorrow alone," Sirius says, in faked dramatics.

"Shut up you drama queen," James laughs, dodging the pillow Sirius throws at his head.

"I'm not a drama queen, I'm a drama king," Sirius protests, making the two of them break down in laughter.

  
Maybe their future looks uncertain but they still have the here and now and most of all they still have each other.

 

 

 


End file.
